Evernew Jokes Funny Jokes and Cute SMS

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I ...

What’s the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women ...

REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME) NOTE – This application will be Incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. 1. NAME:_____________________ DATE OF BIRTH: _______________ 2. HEIGHT:___________ WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: ___________DRIVERS LICENSE #: _________ 4. BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________ 5. HOME ADDRESS: ________________CITY: _________ ZIP ______ 6. ...

While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.” His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.” ...

Any argument that a man and woman are involved in, the woman gets the last word. Anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new argument. ...

He does not have a FAT BEER GUT – He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. He is not a CRAP DANCER – He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. He does not SLEEP AROUND – He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS. He is not BALDING – He is in ...

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE – She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK – She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY – She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. She is not CONCEITED – She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES. She does not want to be MARRIED – She wants to lock ...

Why it’s better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can ...

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman… Wow! Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left, but fortunately we ...

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all ...