How to spot a Redneck on Halloween!
Q: How do you spot a red neck on Halloween? A: He is wearing a Confederate uniform and gives the kids a bottle of Budweiser. ...
Archive for the ‘Redneck Jokes’ Category
Father and Son
One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of chicken wire. His father said, ‘Son, where are you going?’ The son replied, ‘I’m going to catch me some chickens.’ The father said, ‘Son, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire.’ But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on ...
From A Mother With Love
Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived ...
911 Emergency
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator. Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?” There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How ’bout if I drag ...
Redneck Driving Applications
Redneck Driver’s Application Plez complete this paper, best ya can. Last name: ________________ First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse’s ...
Telling a woman
Once, a redneck asked me : “what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?” “what?” “Nothing – you’ve already told her TWICE!” ...
The Elevator 2
A Kentucky family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building; they were amazed by everything they saw –especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, “What’s this, Paw?” The father responded, “Son I have never seen anything like this in my ...
The Redneck and The Gorilla
A small redneck Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very “in the mood”, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting ...
The Toilet Brush
Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Tom won the first prize – a whole year’s ...
Pick up line
Q.What’s te best pick up line in any state below the Mason-Dixon line? A.Get in the truck! ...