Evernew Jokes Funny Jokes and Cute SMS

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, ...

As US tourists in Israel, Morris and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” Morris replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. “She’s not from the ...

Every year, Fred and Ethel would spend a day at the State Fair. Every year, Fred would say, “Ethel, I’d like to ride in that airplane.” And every year, Ethel would say, “I know, Fred, but that airplane ride cost ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” One year, while they were at the fair, Fred ...

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk…. MAN: “Hello” WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes.” WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s $1,000. Can I buy ...

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks “Ma’am, what do you want with arsenic?”. The lady replies “I want to kill my husband.” “I can’t sell you any for that reason” says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man ...

Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight, when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet. He asked the son about using one of the pills, and the son said “I don’t think you should take one; they’re very strong and very expensive.” “How much?” asked Grandpa. $10.00 a pill answered the son. “I don’t ...

A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!” The wife says, “Oh my god! No shit?! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” The husband yells back, “It doesn’t ...

With their 30th wedding anniversary approaching, Ron asks his wife, Sylvia, what she wants to celebrate the occasion. “Would you like to have a new mink coat?” Ron asks. “No, not really,” Sylvia responds. “Well, how about a new Porche?” asks Ron. “No, thanks,” Sylvia replies. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” Ron suggests. “No,” says Sylvia. “Well, what ...

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever.’” “Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, “Here Lies My Husband – Stiff At Last.’ ...

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What’s are these, Dad?” To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.” “Oh I see,” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of ...