Evernew Jokes Funny Jokes and Cute SMS

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: ‘Husband Wanted’. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ ...

Q: Why did the wife not put birthday candles on her husband’s birthday cake? A: It was not that she did not want to make him feel old, she wanted to save the environment. ...

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. ‘Oh, I don’t know ,’ she said . ‘Just give me something with diamonds. That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards. ...

A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug’s face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. “And what day will that ...

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, ...

As US tourists in Israel, Morris and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” Morris replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. “She’s not from the ...

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks “Ma’am, what do you want with arsenic?”. The lady replies “I want to kill my husband.” “I can’t sell you any for that reason” says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man ...

A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!” The wife says, “Oh my god! No shit?! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” The husband yells back, “It doesn’t ...

With their 30th wedding anniversary approaching, Ron asks his wife, Sylvia, what she wants to celebrate the occasion. “Would you like to have a new mink coat?” Ron asks. “No, not really,” Sylvia responds. “Well, how about a new Porche?” asks Ron. “No, thanks,” Sylvia replies. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” Ron suggests. “No,” says Sylvia. “Well, what ...

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever.’” “Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, “Here Lies My Husband – Stiff At Last.’ ...