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Yo mama's so poor
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Funny Facts

The first patented condom was meant to be reused!

In 1998, Sony accidently sold 700,000 camcorders that had the technology to see through people's clothes.

Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the morning.

Out of all the senses, smell is most closely linked to memory.

Over 98 percent of Japanese people are cremated after they die.

In India, people are legally allowed to marry a dog!

The great warrior Ghengis Khan died in bed while having sex.

Oak trees do not have acorns until they are fifty years old or older.

The Japanese liquor, Mam, uses venomous snakes as one of its main engredients.

Last 2 European countries to let women vote: Switzerland (1971) and Leichtenstein (1984).

At age 18, the Queen of England was a mechanic for the British Military.

Canada's new flag, with its maple leaf design, was unfurled in 1965 in Ottawa!

There are 635,013,559,599 possible hands in a game of bridge.

The famous aphrodisiac 'Spanish Fly' is made from dried beetle remains!

Only 1 person in 2 billion will live to be 116.

One cubic foot of gold weighs more than 1,200 pounds!

Europe is the only continent without a desert.

At one 'feeding', a mosquito can absorb one and a half times its own weight in blood.

A snail can sleep for three years.

The 7-Eleven Extreme Gulp is 50% bigger than the volume of the human stomach!

In India, pickled ginger, minced mutton, and a cottage cheese like substance are popular pizza toppings.

76% of Americans celebrate New Year's Eve in groups of less than 20.

Jumbo jets use 4,000 gallons of fuel to take off .

Contrary to popular belief, there are almost no Buddhists in India, nor have there been for about a thousand years.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning.

Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings!

Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows!

Only male fireflies can fly.

Iceland has no railway system or army!

Marlboro cigarettes sold in New York contain more tar and nicotine than those sold in all other states!

In some parts of England, rum is used to wash a baby's head for good luck.

Nylon is made from coal and petroleum.

Pocahontas appeared on the back of the $20 bill in 1875.

In Florida, Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

The U.S. Government spent $277,000 on pickle research in 1993.

The earth travels through space at 660,000 miles per hour.

Mailing an entire building has been illegal in the U.S. since 1916 when a man mailed a 40,000-ton brick house across Utah to avoid high freight rates.

It takes the same amount of time to age a cigar as wine.

7,000 new insect species are discovered every year.

Yahoo! was originally called 'Jerry's Guide to the World Wide Web'.

In France, it is legal to marry a dead person!

English novelist Arnold Bennet drank a glass of water in a Paris Hotel to prove it was safe. He died two months later of Typhoid!

In Florida, It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Large kangaroos can cover more than 30 feet with each jump!

The most popular sport as a topic for a film is boxing.

In Albania, nodding your head means 'no' and shaking your head means 'yes'.

Drivers kill more deer than hunters.

Rubberbands last longer when refrigerated.

Anteaters prefer termites to ants.

 

Funny Insults

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

You're so dumb you think socialism means partying!

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?

Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.

It is only too easy to catch people's attention by doing something worse than anyone else has dared to do it before." If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?

Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.

Yo house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

You're so ugly when you walk into a bank, they turn the cameras off!

I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!

Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.

I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!

Yo momma's so poor I saw her walking down the street kicking a can,I said what you doing mrs. johnson, she said MOVING.

I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.

You started at the bottom -- and it's been downhill ever since.

You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.

Is your name Amazon? You`re so wide at the mouth.

You can't fix stupid

You're a wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits...huh?

You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother!

I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.

Yo momma like a Denny's: Open 24 hours.

I you are in your right mind, I hope you go insane!

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

After hearing you talk, I now know that the dead do contact us.

Yo momma like a bubble gum machine: 25 cents a blow.

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven".

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

Yo momma like a 7-11. On every corner and always open.

If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!

If you were my dog, I'd shave your butt and teach you to walk backwards.

Is he just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that way?

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!

If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.

You'd make a lovely corpse!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

You're so dumb you think Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Yo momma is like a door nob... every one gets a turn

 
 
 
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