Be politically correct
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|How to be politically correct with womenShe is not
a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. She does
not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE
OF HER BEST QUALITIES. She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER. She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in
ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She is not TOO
SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT. She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE
SIDE. She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a
PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE. She does not
GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT. She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED. She does not get DRUNK
or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM
DENSITY. She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE. She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She
has reached COSMETIC SATURATION. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
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