M&M Evolution theory
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Evolution theory
|M&M's: The Theory of EvolutionWhenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty
to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.To this end, I hold M&M duels.Taking two
candies between my thumb and forefinger,I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks
and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another
round.I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are
genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense
theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.Occasionally I will get a mutation, a
candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a
weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues
to adapt to its environment.When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the
herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:
M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading,
"Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
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