Stupid Funny Quotes
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"Things are more like they are now than they have ever
been." --President Gerald Ford "My fellow astronauts..."--Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech
at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration. "Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity
of human life."--Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty. "China is a
big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President "I stand by all the
misstatements."--Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes "Gerald Ford was
a Communist"--Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'. "Outside of
the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry,
Washington D.C. "We found the term 'killing' too broad."--State Department spokesperson on why the word
'killing' was replaced with 'unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life' in its human rights reports for
1984-5 "This is a great day for France!"--President Richard Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle's
funeral "This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected."--California Governor Pat Brown,
discussing a local flood "It's not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling from
God, is to be a television talkshow host."--James Baker, televangelist. "The chairs in the cabin are for
the ladies. Gentlemen are not to make use of them till the ladies are seated."--Instructions posted in a
river cruise ship, Suir River, Ireland. "The exports include thumbscrews and cattle prods, just routine
items for the police."--U.S. Commerce Department spokesman on a regulation allowing the export of various
products abroad. "What he does on his own time is up to him."--Harlon Copeland, Sheriff of Bexar County,
Texas, when one of his deputies was caught exposing himself to a child. "Facts are stupid things."--Ronald
Reagan, misquoting John Adams in a speech to the Republican convention.
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