The Latest Breaking News on the GoodTimes Virus
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The
Latest Breaking News on the GoodTimes Virus It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is verydangerous
after all. Goodtimes will re-write your harddrive. Not only that, it will scramble any disks that areeven
close to your computer. It will recalibrate yourrefrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream
goesmelty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your creditcards, screw up the tracking on your television
and usesubspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try toplay. It will give your ex-girlfriend your new
phone number. Itwill mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink allyour beer and leave dirty socks on
the coffee table whencompany comes over. It will put a dead kitten in the backpocket of your good suit
pants and hide your car keys whenyou are late for work. Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a
penguin. Itwill give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will poursugar in your gas tank and shave off
both your eyebrowswhile dating your girlfriend behind your back and billingthe dinner and hotel room to your
Discover card. It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter ifshe is dead, such is the power of
Goodtimes, it reaches outbeyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves your car
randomly around parking lots so youcan't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leavelibidinous messages
on your boss's voice mail in your voice!It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifyingto
behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It
will leavethe toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetaminein your bathtub and then leave bacon
cooking on the stovewhile it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your newsnowblower.
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