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Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.
Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”
One Thanksgiving morning, Martha’s preparing the turkey and gets an idea. ...
A professor invented a lie detecting chair.
Whenever anybody sitting in it told a lie, the chair would open up and dump the liar on the floor.
During an experiment, a brunette sat in the chair and the professor asked her to tell about herself.
She began, “I think you are the best teacher I’ve ever had.”
The chair ...
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went ...
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. Afterwards, he asked her how she liked the game.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she said, “but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents.”
“What on earth do you mean???”
“Well, I saw them flip a coin, and ...
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
“I’ve heard enough of ...
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver.
He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the road and told the ...
A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a beautiful blonde.
“I just got this amazing watch,” he tells her, “it can reads alpha waves, and can tell me what a person is thinking.”
“What does it say about me?” asked the blonde.
“It says you want to sleep with me.” said the man.
“Sorry,” said ...
A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and ...
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying. “Um … 22.”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young ...
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp.
They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says “since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one.”
So the brunette goes first, “I have ...